Does anyone read this? I’m genuinely curious if anyone checks this page, not even I check in. This post marks the first post of this blog that isn’t AI generated. When I started this page, I wanted to create a framework for freeing oneself of themselves. A framework that would garner more freedom and allow someone to truly be themselves and and not be held hostage by their own self.
I had, and still have, a genuine interest in self development and personal growth. I however do not feel like hand writing all my thoughts, as a blog is meant to be. I would generate AI content based off that I was interested on at the time and simply copy and paste, assuming this “hard” work would pay off one day.
Over the past year I’ve neglected this page as I found it boring and too much effort for nothing in return. I was expecting some miracle community to form over a few posts of AI generated content. I’ve now realized, I’ll just treat this page as an open journal. A little online getaway where I can punish my thoughts and while on the surface of the internet, still remain unseen.
Being hidden and having feelings of loneliness is a constant struggle I find myself battling, more so as of recent. It’s a paradoxical feeling, as I feel so alone and crave human connection and affection, but at the same time don’t want to be bothered. I’ve always felt similar to this, but these feelings as of recent have more intense. I’d like to assume the intensity arises from the pressure of time and me getting older. Unhappy with my situation in life and unhappy where I think I should be. This incongruity from expectations not matching with reality is what kills me.
Most notably, I’m just lonely.
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